For the last few weeks now, God has presented me with dreaming again. And He has not been subtle about it either. For instance, while looking for a book to read via Hoopla, I “happened” upon a book entitled “The Dream of You” by Jo Saxton. A sister friend from my prayer group sent me a message stating that as she was looking at bible study online, God told her to send this me, and she delivered the message to me promptly, and I pulled up the bible study to watch via Facebook; the title of the message, “The Cost of a Dream”. As I was looking for a new devotional to read, I came upon one that I had read about 4 years ago, I thought this was a good time for a repeat session, I remember this being an informative read, and was excited. I open the devotional and to my not so surprised self, I rolled upon the second day’s read titled, you guessed it…” Dare to Dream”. Well, I finally feel as if I am getting the message. You would think this would be simple. You would think this would be easy; almost as if the world should be my oyster, just waiting to be opened. Not so.
This feels more like a dare instead of the general inquisitiveness of the “what’s on your heart” variety. You know the feeling; it is likened to someone daring you to do the thing that you are most afraid of. Or, if you cannot imagine that, then here goes another example- it’s like the game called hit the stick if you’re bad. This dare game was played when two people generally wanted to fight but no one wanted to throw the first punch. What happens is that one party would place a stick on their own shoulder and tell the other person or persons “hit the stick if you bad’. If by chance someone mustard up the courage to hit the stick off the other’s shoulder, fists started flying, and it was on and poppin’! - don’t ask me how I know :0.
I should be excited! God wants me to dream. Not just dream, but dream again. That “again” parts scares me something fierce. I can admit it. Just to be clear, I will say it louder for the nosey people in the back- I AM AFRAID OF NOT JUST DREAMING, BUT DREAMING AGAIN. Which begs the first of my questions, yet gives me an answer
Question: What was wrong with my original dreams?
Possible Answer: Maybe those dreams were not BIG enough. Maybe GOD wants to do more in me and through me. Maybe He wants me to become more. Speak more. Write More. Listen more. Love more. So much MORE. More than what I could possibly imagine or even think. I only have to dare dream, believe and then ask.
So what’s the problem you ask?
Here is what I understand of my “dreaming”. I choose not to just dream. I choose not to have wander lust. I choose not to rattle off a list of things I want. Also, the Father is not some Jeanie in a magical bottle. He is so much more. Much more. He is purposeful. He is intentional. He is my joy, and my peace. He is my very heartbeat. He is every breath He commands my body to inhale and exhale. He is my everything. He is incomprehensible, yet simple. Just when you think you may have figured him all out; He asks you to dream.
After a few weeks of pondering this request of the Father, I have made a few decisions. I will stop. Stop thinking. Stop wishing. Stop talking. Stop with the mental gymnastics. Stop with the ifs. Stop the maybe’s. Stop it all. Here’s what I will start to do. I will start opening my heart more to the Father. I will start opening my Word more. I will start praying more. I will start listening more. I will start loving more. I will start forgiving more, starting with myself.
Because here is the thing, I do not want to dream. I want to live. More frankly, I want to exchange my desires for His desires for my life. The Father’s desires and plans for me are good. All good. His plans for me are to give me a future and hope that is IN Him. Those are the dreams I want to dream. Nothing more, and never anything less. One day, soon, I will be able to write His vision on the tablet of my heart and give it back to Him for His purpose and His plans.