Isaiah 43:18-19 “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.
The day is November 15, 2020. The time was 6:50am. I awoke this morning to a heaviness swirling around me. A sense of darkness grasping at me that I could neither explain or shake. And so, for a moment, I gave in to it. I gave in to fear. Loneliness felt as if it had forced my hand. Despair and dread clutched me so. I could not speak. My morning ritual of telling the Father “Thank you” when I awoke from my sleep had been cancelled. For a brief moment in time, I could not open my mouth to speak. Tears fell instead. These tears were not sprinkles. These tears were not droplets of water. These tears were a steady flow. A rushing river maybe. I will be honest and say that, the tears that poured down my face felt more like that of a torrential down pour than anything else.
Let me give some context. You see, some years ago, I had one of the most significant experiences of hurts that I had ever experience in my years of life. I had people that happened to me instead of happening for me. There is a difference I have learned. The word hurt does not adequately describe the pain, the fear, the despair, and the isolation that went into the events that surrounded to me. There was a ripping that occurred between myself, and two others that were friends. Right behind that event, came a heartbreak and breakdown that I will never be able to explain. These two cataclysmic events happened one behind the other. To think of it, the events felt more like Velcro ripping me apart from the inside that expressed itself outside of me. These events shifted me. The memory of my life is in part is now marked by, before them, and after them. I know hurt. I know pain. I know isolation. I know depression. I know loss. I know valleys. I know rivers and oceans of tears more intimately than I would ever care to admit, or even acknowledge. I also know the presence of the Father. I know joy. I know the power of a whisper. I know friendship with the Father. I know that under HIS wings is best hiding place you will ever know. I know that there is safety in HIM. I know that HE is a true friend that sticks closer than a brother or sister. More of that to come as we walk together.
You see, Isaiah 43:18-19 was my guiding Scripture for 2020. Though, my mouth could not move, there was something else happening around me. Zephaniah 3:17 says that ‘ He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. And that is just what happened. While I may not have been able to open my mouth for a moment, my prayer group had my phone pinging with grateful messages that started at 6:51am. Someone suggested a the song by Smokie Norful, “Still Say, Thank You”-every one else chimed in at 6:52am, 7:11am, 7:25am, 7:32am to say how grateful they were for the things in their life; it literally continued until the darkness released me as I muttered out “Thank you Jesus!!”. -stay with me….
In September of 2018, I prayed to the Father to be connected to women who were authentic, and were rooted and grounded in Him. To be connected and have true friendship with women that desired HIS plans for their lives above all else. What I have received, and believe that there are more to come, far exceeded any expectation that I even thought I could conceive.
You see, Isaiah 43:18-19 is my guiding Scripture for 2020. I was too busy dwelling on my past and thinking about the ones that had hurt me, that I could not see who was there. I could not see the new, enjoy the new, embrace the new because I was too fixated on the old. I could not see. But I see now. God has been here all along. He never missed a step. So on this day, I will gladly scream Thank You Jesus!
For holding my mind together with Grace and LOVE- Thank you
For the tears that had to fall- Thank you
For the hurt that had to break me- Thank you
For being gracefully broken- Thank you
For never leaving me- Thank you
For redeeming the old and giving me new- Thank you
For DOING a new thing - Thank you
For using the hurt to close doors- Thank you
For redirection and correction- Thank you
For taking your time in putting me back together- Thank you
For closing those doors, and opening others- Thank you
For taking your time IN me, to work things out and through me- Thank you
For the gift of prayer- Thank you
For the gift of therapy- Thank you
For the gift of dwelling in your presence- Thank you
To Crystal, Tammie, Kashonda, Soancera, Mandy, Cindy, Carolyn, Felicia, the greatest prayer group this side of heaven- Butterflies in the Spirit, Michelle P., Michelle, Lady Kim, Ieshia, Debra, Marcie, Cena- I scream Thank you to you. For God has used you so mightily in my life. Who knew that He was doing a new thing-lol. You really are an answered prayer. My life is so much fuller and richer because of you!! He is still doing a new thing, and I am putting away my past- Thank you Jesus! Keep doing a new thing, and will continue to say Thank YOU!!